Only Fans Model Poops on Car During Road Rage Incident


road-rage-pooper

There are traffic jamsโ€ฆ and then there are traffic jams that end with someone squatting on your hood like itโ€™s a public toilet.

Letโ€™s talk about Christina Solometo, a 44-year-old OnlyFans model from Ridley Park, PA, who just dropped a new kind of โ€œexclusive contentโ€ โ€” not behind a paywall, but right on the hood of someoneโ€™s car. Thatโ€™s right, gents. Weโ€™re talking about a full-on revenge dump in broad daylight. On. A. Car. ๐Ÿ’ฉ

The Setup: Green Light, Brown Code

The chaos went down in late April, when Solometo found herself stuck behind a driver who was allegedly taking their sweet time moving at a green light. We’ve all been there โ€” maybe a honk, a flash of the brights, a creative finger gesture. But Christina? She went full savage.

After what she described as being โ€œmockedโ€ by the other driver, Solometo decided to show her disapproval not with words or fists, but with a bowel movement. Yes, a literal โ€œmovement.โ€

With the finesse of a seasoned OnlyFans creator (her username is reportedly โ€œShyTheadโ€, because of course it is), she allegedly popped out of her ride, yanked down her drawers, and let loose on the unsuspecting vehicleโ€™s hood like it was a porcelain throne from hell.

The Quote That Broke the Internet

In what is now one of the most legendary follow-up quotes in criminal history, Solometo told police:

โ€œI wanted to punch her in the face, but I pooped on her car instead and went home. It was a clean poop. I didnโ€™t even have to wipe.โ€

Letโ€™s pause here to acknowledge the sheer confidence it takes to not only poop on someoneโ€™s car, but to brag that it was a โ€œclean one.โ€ Thatโ€™s elite-level bowel control. Thatโ€™s someone who probably drinks nothing but kombucha and eats fiber bars for breakfast. Respect.

Caught Brown-Handed

The whole thing was caught on video by a teenage witness, who is now undoubtedly the most popular kid in his school for filming the most unhinged traffic incident of the decade.

Police werenโ€™t as impressed. Solometo was slapped with charges including indecent exposure, disorderly conduct, harassment, and โ€œdepositing waste on a highway.โ€ Thatโ€™s a real charge, folks. Apparently, the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania doesnโ€™t have a sense of humor.

The victim didnโ€™t press charges, probably out of fear that Solometo might come back and upper-deck her toilet next.

Was This a Publicity Stunt?

Some internet sleuths (and probably half of Reddit) are wondering if this was all a planned publicity stunt to boost her OnlyFans traffic. After all, โ€œscatโ€ niches do exist, and her account reportedly features foot fetish content. Maybe she was just testing the waters before launching the next tier: ๐Ÿ’ฉ Premium Plus.

But according to Solometo, she just had to go. She told cops she had stomach issues. Which… raises an important question: If you do have to poop in public, is a car hood the worst option? We say no. Itโ€™s elevated, flat, and probably already covered in bird crap. Honestly, it might be the Rolls-Royce of impromptu toilets.

The Moral of the Story

Donโ€™t drive like a jerk. Donโ€™t mess with a woman named Christina in Delaware County. And most of all, donโ€™t ever assume someone wonโ€™t weaponize their colon when provoked.

Because the next time you cut someone off at a red light, you might not just get the bird โ€” you might get the turd.


๐ŸŽฅ Watch the Viral Video

For those brave enough to witness the incident, here’s the video that captured it all:


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