In my ongoing search for the gassiest food in the world I have tried everything. From beans, protein shakes, all different types of vegetables my search has been exhaustive.
That is when I stumbled across something unexpected.
Yeah that’s right. The gassiest food on the planet is Albanese Sugar Free Assorted Fruit Gummi Bears! If you want to fart up a storm or play a joke on your buddies just eat a handful or two of these sweet innocent looking bears and wait for the fun to start!
I’m not kidding I probably farted over 50 times in an hour after eating about 2 handfuls. And these were ground shaking, wall moving tear inducing farts that simply would would not stop. You could seriously hear these farts across the entire house.
Don’t believe me? Checkout some of these reviews on Amazon….there are over 1200!
Alright, here’s my review: I bought these because of all the comments that claimed they would cause diarrhea and/or massive gas, etc., had made me curious. Heck, I’m curious like a cat; that’s why my friends call me ‘Whiskers’. Anyways, I don’t care for sugar free anything, am not afraid of getting diarrhea (I’m usually constipated anyways) and have always been amused with having excess flatulence.
So, to start with…the taste. I think the taste of anything and everything ‘sugar free’ kind of sucks no matter what but I must admit, these actually weren’t that bad. The pineapple ones were the best, I thought, and the lemon ones were my least favorite.
I only noticed an aftertaste from the aspartame after I stopped eating them and even then, it wasn’t as bad as from a diet soda or what not. I started off eating about 20 of them. I had a normal BM about 2 hours later, nothing out of the ordinary. About 2 hours after that, it was Mount St. Colons for about 10 minutes. Afterwards, I had some pretty rancid gas that seemed to last about 3 hours.
Conclusion: potent as advertised. On a side note, I gave some to one of my coworkers (he had about 15 or so) and he told me about 2 hours later, he was on the thundermug blasting out a rooster tail. Since I’m lactose intolerant, I think I’ll have some of these with a glass of milk. I should be weaponized pretty good.
I had a party with my friends over and i bought these thinking it wouldnt be that bad. Boy was i wrong. There were 4 of us and 3 toilets. Underwear was sacraficed that day. Let us have a moment of silence for our torn anuses and gassy bowels…..but they tasted really good. 10/10 would annihilate ass again
BUT (or should I say BUTT), not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke loose. I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I’ve ever imagined. Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare. I’ve had food poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me.
If you dont mind the gas go for it, The gummy bears were yummy but I could have played the Hallelujah chorus with the gas they produced
You have been warned! Try these if you dare!